Family,
And a good Sunday (yes, that's right - I actually said SUNDAY) evening to you from the Queen City,
The week itself was great. For starters, I think it's safe to say that the Munchkin's personality is definitely showing itself, and I absolutely LOVE IT. To be clear- she KNOWS when she's breaking the rules. However, rather than just open flaunt them, she goes to the point of no return and then says "uh-oh!" Case in point - the stairs. Case in point #2 - the way she ALWAYS stands up in the chair opposite her high chair. She knows that she's not supposed to be on either one, but it doesn't stop her from getting to the point of disaster and then stopping (gratuitous cute little smirk in tow every time). What's funny is that, even though we tell her know (and have become increasingly forceful in doing it), she continues to smile and laugh. She thinks it's a game, which shows me that she's not yet grasped the concept of right and wrong (and by extension consequences and discipline). And while I'm happy to delay the "introduction to discipline" for another few months, there is a reality that I worry she'll hurt herself because she doesn't realize the danger she's in. Another case in point is out coffee table, as she's started climbing that now. Seriously - take your eye off her for .000000001 seconds, and she'll be laying on top of it. Luckily we've avoided tragedy to date, but it definitely concerns us. And yes, I know that "kids fall." However, falling while sitting or walking is one thing. Falling off a raised surface is entirely another, and one that I'm keen to avoid if I can help it.
Back to personality - I never grow tired of hearing, "Your daughter is really well behaved. She's so quiet." It's funny, because I'm at the point I take it for granted and think that all kids are like this. But even tonight - at dinner with my buddy Matt and his kid AJ - I realized that K really is an absolute ANGEL. She doesn't cry out. She doesn't scream. In fact, more often than not she's totally silent. Jenny's noticed it as well, especially at the library when other kids are bouncing around like Jack Russell Terriers. I said early on that I thought she was going to be a Type B introvert, and I still think that will be the case. She's absolutely an observer by nature. Sure, she'll run hard and play hard. However, she doesn't let much bother her (the actions of others anyway), and she's pretty chill most of the time. I will be honest and say I don't like it when other kids push her around or take toys from her (especially since she never complains or fights back), but I'm conscious that this is part of the learning process, and so consequently I sit mum and try to encourage her to either a) protect what's hers or b) thank her for good sharing. I think the reality is that (famous last words coming - please don't post these on Twitter) she's going to be a very perceptive, quiet young lady, who sees much and only speaks when she finds it a) relevant, b) appropriate, or c) necessary. And as a father, I can say I'm thrilled - could I dare to hope to be so lucky as to have a child who - in this day and age of Go-Pro, Facebook, and phones and video every SECOND of our lives - is that self aware and understands moments that matter vs. moments that she either can't change or where she cannot add value?
I'm conscious I've had a few as I type this (first time all weekend, for the record - 5 AFD's before this), but it gets to the heart of the title of this blog and something I realized on my last run. During the run, I was thinking about 2015 goals - some for me, some for the family - when it hit me. My goals have become less about me and my achievement and more about a wish list for my family. I started running through them, and the realization is that a lot of the goals now center around my ultimate goal when Jenny and I first saw Kaitlyn - I want to make her better than me. 
You hear a lot of parents say "I want to give my kids the world. I want to give my kids everything." I will be honest - I DON'T. And it's not because I'm cheap or selfish (although some might say that) - it's because that's not how I was raised, and I count myself SO FORTUNATE for my upbringing. The lessons and experiences I had growing up with my family in East Tennessee undoubtedly shaped the person I am today, and that is an experience I want to replicate for Kaitlyn. And please don't get me wrong - I never wanted for ANYTHING - my parents spent every dime they had on me. Also, there was no question I was loved - every second of every day. However, my parents were teachers in rural East TN and were divorced, and there's no question there are lessons learned there about choices, money, and family. Now, sitting in a much more comfortable position than we all were a quarter century ago, it's easy to forget those lessons and just spend, spend, spend. However, that's not who I am (same for Jenny, as her childhood was much the same), and I want K to understand choices, sacrifice, and saving. It's a tall ask, and it gets taller every year. However, I am committed to it, because those experiences shaped me and Jenny, and I am determined to craft the same trajectory for the Sneetch. I really like the way Warren Buffet put it when talking about the financial legacy he'll leave to his children: "I want them to have enough money that they can do anything but not so much money that they can do nothing." Brilliant.While I'm rambling and have a captive audience (which I'm fairly confident is just me at this point :-)), there are so many goals I have for Kaitlyn, and I truly don't feel they are any that "live vicariously through her." For example - I would LOVE for her to enjoy swimming and have a desire to join a swim team. I like swimming because you learn the value of a team sport while also having an individual component. It's the same with running, which is why I hope she enjoys that. A corollary to that is the hope of family vacations where the whole family is either running, swimming, both, or evening "tri"ing something different. And it's not just that I want the family photo of us all crossing the line together. It's that these individual sports offer a lifetime of health benefits and a lifestyle that I think is terrific - another reason I ALSO want her to learn golf. I never played it growing up, and I'm TERRIBLE at it now. However, golf isn't just a sport. It's a social skill and a life skill, and females who can play invariably have a leg up in corporate America. Consequently, I do hope she gets into it (and I will be enrolling her in lessons).
The same is true for skiing and volleyball. The experiences, the mixture of individual vs. team, and the limited contact (unlike other sports) make injuries less likely (I'm conscious that skiing is a bit of an exception there) and make it a sport you can enjoy throughout your life. The benefits are health, better mental preparation and focus, and a higher likelihood you'll meet someone who enjoys the things you do. And yes, I realize I could be TOTALLY off the reservation with this, but hey, I'm a dad - I have to do what I can, right?
Another thing I've been very high on lately - finding something that Jenny and Kaitlyn can do together and LOVE. As I watch K climbing on things, I have this fantasy that she and Jenny will really get into climbing together and start planning trips to do it. JT was INCREDIBLE in Thailand - you should have seen her - TOTAL NATURAL. If K has the same dexterity and strength, then they would be SO CUTE together at places like Inner Peaks, and it would be something special that few mother/daughters have.
Fluent in Spanish. At least 3 continents crossed off before she's 18. The college of her choice on an in-state pricing plan (or better). There is SO MUCH I want for this kid. I want her to study abroad. I want her to find a sport she loves and play it until she no longer a) wants to or b) is able to (meaning through college). I want her to at least try the piano and (hopefully) enjoy it. I want her to be healthy all of her days - injury free and fearless when it comes to trying new things. I want her to understand there's a "big 'ole world" out there and understand a) the part she plays in it and b) how lucky she was to be born an American citizen in the lottery of birth. I want her to have great friends who aren't catty, laugh about boys more than they fight about them, and realize (as much as a young person can) how special youth is and how every day is meant to be lived out loud.
I want her to find a man who loves her as much as I love her mother - whose whole world is about the person who wakes up with and goes to bed with. I want her to know wine and beer and understand that getting drunk is fine (and necessary) but that one must always be wary of their surroundings (which I wasn't). I want her to understand that A's are great but B's are great too and oftentimes comes with a lot less stress. I want her to know that she's loved. I want her to know that she can do anything. I want her to think fondly of her parents - they may not be the most tech savvy, but there's no question they love each other and would do anything for her. I want her to believe she can do ANYTHING but that she doesn't have to do EVERYTHING. I want her to always do what's right vs. what's popular. I want her to date boys while realizing that the first 700 will only be dots on a radar at best. I want a little signal or code with her that exists through high school - a way of saying, "I love you, daddy, and I will be careful," even though she doesn't verbalize it and no one in a crowd of 50 catches it but me and her. In short, I want her to have the life she's dreamed of, and I want a front row seat. Pretty deep for a 1 hour run, eh? :-)
Closing off on her personality and development, it's been amazing to watch her continue to grow. For starters, this week she noticed her own reflection for the first time (at least on my watch). Normally when I say "Where's Kaitlyn?" she points to herself. This week, however, she was looking in the mirror and actually pointed to her reflection. The smile was a mile wide. She's been able to identify Jenny and I for quite some time, so to see her make this leap was exciting.
Also, she continues to move closer and closer to being full-on ready for potty training. She's now saying "dipe dipe" about 5 minutes before she poops. Sometimes she even says it and then just lays down on the ground wherever she is - LOVE THIS KID! Basically she gives us the warning, and then 3-5 minutes later squats down, gets quiet, and then stands back up. Granted, once she's done that she's not as excited about the diaper change, but she's still been pretty good about it (more to come on that shortly). She's even started walking to the bathroom once she says "dipe dipe" and tapping on the door. I'm telling you - genius... :-)
In other news, Jenny and I joined a new gym this week - NOMAD. We joined it because the pool is truly spectacular (they host regional and national meets), and the price was right! The big question was how K would handle the "child watch" facility, but I'm thrilled to report that she really, really likes it! We actually had her in there 4 times this week, and so far, so good. Not sure if it's just a combination of a smaller space, fewer people, or her being a bit older, but it definitely has been a better experience for JT. This is GREAT news, as I know Jenny was quite worried about how K would react. She said it herself: "working out now knowing that K is having fun and isn't screaming makes the entire workout much smoother." Fingers crossed it continues!
parents came over on Friday, and Friday was uneventful (even an AFD for me). Saturday, however, was REALLY tough. In retrospect, I think I pushed K too hard too fast, as we headed out the door as soon as she woke up to go over to NOMAD, where I got a quick run in before heading to DPK. She screamed bloody murder as I walked away (and clung to me before I was able to break away), but the staff said she was fine in less than a minute. After that it was food in the car before checking out DPK - which was a MADHOUSE on a Saturday morning. By the time I got her home, she was out of sorts, off schedule, and generally exhausted - so much so that we just hung out in the house for the rest of the day.
Sunday went at a much easier pace, and the results were MUCH better. For a start, we kicked off the day slowly, with a good 45 minutes in her room reading books. Then, once she told me she was hungry, we went downstairs and had a bit more food. We then went for a walk and hit the park, where K walked to the bathroom, said the magic words, and then 5 minutes later gave me a proper 3 wiper to
contend with. Luckily there was a changing table in the men's room, but MAN was it a mess.
After her nap (2+ hrs), I met my buddy Matt and his munchkin (AJ) at D-9 Brewing, where we had an absolute BLAST. I will be honest - I was on the fence about going, as K had been so great all day and I was hesitant to rattle her again. However, she seemed energized after the nap, and so we rolled over for a couple of pints. There were tons of kids there, so it was actually a really fun afternoon. We then rolled over to Duckworth's Tap room for dinner, where K was an angel and ate like a champ. Lesson learned - let the day come to you, and don't push the wee one any harder than you have to.So there you have it - another week in the books and a Father & daughter anxiously awaiting the return of Wife Muffin. But I will say it's been great, as K and I have definitely bonded. This time has been special to me, and I'm looking forward to having her to myself all day on Veteran's Day.
Okay, that's all the news that's fit to print. Chat soon!
Love,
Sam (and Jenny from the beaches of Playa del Carmen)
No comments:
Post a Comment