A day to remember and a day to forget - Team Taylor hits the reset button...

Age of Lady Kaitlyn:  2 years, 2 months, and 17 days

Status of T2:  no longer with us but forever in our hearts

Family,

And a good evening to you from the Queen City.  This will be a quick one, but in the spirit of fresh

beginnings, I wanted to first wrap up this brief, unfortunately, and tough chapter in our lives before returning this post to its true purpose - celebrating life and raising our daughter.  Before I can course correct and return to what I've deemed "happy blogging," however, I did want to catalogue what was, as expected, a tough day for Team Taylor - Jenny having a D & C.

To say that my emotion and sadness has been fully spent would be not only erroneous but a betrayal to the loss I feel.  However, as so much of my heart and soul was poured into the last post, I think this one will be more clinical.  Truth be told, I've tried to approach it as thought it were more a project issue than  a family one, which I think has helped me be strong and keep it together.  And while I'm sure it will all hit me in a few days, today I was proud I was able to keep it together.  Now I just hope and pray that I can continue to be the rock that Jenny and Kaitlyn need during this period where our emotions try to catch up with our bodies (I'll credit the doctor for that quote).

Looking back over the last 24 hours, things have been nothing short of crazy.  We went to the clinic yesterday for a final ultrasound, where it was confirmed that T2 hadn't progressed.  He/she was still sitting at 5.5 weeks, the yolk sack was still sitting at 9.2 weeks, and debris was now visible within the uterus.  Jenny was starting to spot, and all signs seemed to confirm what we expected.

So imagine our surprise when, out of the blue, the technician says, "So you're not going to believe this, but I think there's a faint heartbeat.  It's slow - only every 2-3 seconds, but I think it's there."  Three words for you when JT and I heard this:  WORST. CASE.  SCENARIO.  We then spent an hour waiting on the doctor, all the while kicking around the inconceivable - were we going to have to make a choice to potentially abort a living fetus?  None of it made sense, and the next hour was pretty miserable.

Our doctor then came in and confirmed that the flicker, while looking potentially like a heartbeat, was in fact something called an artifact (which we think is the echo of Jenny's heartbeat).  She confirmed nothing was viable and that (most likely) the cells had likely just stopped developing.  After that reassurance, we moved onto the next phase of the equation - preparing for the D & C.

The D & C was this morning at 10:30 AM.  We were up at 6:15, out the door at 7, at the hospital at 8, and then into surgery at 10:30.  Let me say first off that Presby Main continues to be a PHENOMENAL institution.  The staff was fantastic, and Jenny's treatment was world class from start to finish.  As with Kaitlyn's delivery, I can't say enough good things about how she was treated, looked after, and made to feel important.  Everyone that came in knew why she was there and offered their condolences.  Everyone knew their work well and explained it in terms we could both understand, taking time to both answer our questions and give us information in digestible chunks throughout the day.  It was, in short, the best medical experience you could have asked for under the circumstances.

Success...and a freezing Floridian covered
in 5 blankets for post-op.

When they whisked JT away for surgery (second time I've seen it - I can confirm it doesn't get any easier), I was sent down to the waiting room, where the boards and the staff kept me up to date as Jenny progressed through surgery into recovery (the whole procedure was 10-15 minutes).  I passed the time reading, and all in all I felt pretty calm.  I will say that it was a little tough hearing Brahm's lullaby 5 times while in the waiting room (that's what they play every time a baby is born), but at the same time I am elated for those parents, as I remember the joy I felt when it was our turn to hear it played for K.

The doctor spoke to me after it was all over, and about 1 hour later I was rejoined with Jenny - a little loopy and groggy but in very good spirits.  Shortly thereafter we made our way to Panera (right by the old haunt), and by 2:30 PM we were back home, where JT got a nap and we spent a lazy afternoon with K.  I should credit a special thanks to Jenny's mom for spending last night and most of today with Kaitlyn - she was a LIFESAVER, and I really don't know what we would have done without her.

All things being equal, we've held it together pretty good this evening.  Yes, there have been a few tears, but why shouldn't there be?  As Jenny's doctor told us yesterday, "Yes, he or she is only 5 weeks old, but that's still your child."  And at this risk of breaking down as I type this, I will say that was the part that hit home for me yesterday.  I think that's when the reality and the loss and the sheer magnitude of what had just happened (and at the time was about to happen) hit me.  We had a little miracle in the making, and just like that he or she (call me crazy, but I think it was a he) was gone.

And now it's back to our little miracle...
who's discovered the infant swing again...

I absolutely believe things happen for a reason, and I know my place is not to question why or what went wrong.  Instead, I want to focus on getting Jenny healthy (uterus and foot), getting myself healthy and in as good a shape possible, enjoying this continued special time with Kaitlyn as a Team of 3, realizing how truly blessed we are, and preparing myself mentally for the next round of trying.  We have to wait 2 cycles before we can try again, which means it will likely be August before we have another shot (and so September or October before we have news).  But the good news is that the new journey has started - Team Taylor has officially hit the "reset" button, and I am very confident that someday Team Taylor will be party of 4 (or 5, 6, who knows?  JUST KIDDING WIFE MUFFIN!!!).

And so there it is - the post that closes out a somber 8 days in the life of Team Taylor.  And while I know there will still be some ups and downs in the coming days (like receiving the shirt we ordered for K that says "Promoted to Big Sister effective December 2015), the bottom line is that we're doing ok and just ready to get back on the horse.

Jenny - I expect you'll likely be in tears by the time you get to this point.  Just remember how much I love you, how proud I am of you, how amazed I continue to be every day by your quiet strength, and most importantly - God loves you.  We will get through this as we've gotten through any and every obstacle in the past - we'll get through it because we've got each other, and soul mates can overcome anything.

Chat with you all again when I'm back from Santiago - I promise the next post will be happier!

Love,

Sam and Jenny

No easy day - hearing the words "They didn't hear a heartbeat"

Age of Lady Kaitlyn:  2 years, 2 months, and 14 days

Age of T2:  potentially somewhere between 5-9 weeks

Family,

And a Happy Memorial Day to you from the Queen City, where the Bull is back in an old familiar perch for this edition - sitting on the wicker furniture in the screened porch, enjoying the last vestiges of what's been a fantastic Memorial Day weekend.  The last 72 hours have been absolutely fantastic, filled with food, laughs, family, and a return to normalcy.  And while it's no stretch to call this amongst the tamest Memorial Day weekends Team Taylor has ever had, I would also call it one of the best, as today finds me at peace and restored after what was an emotional week.  You've obviously read the title of this post and by extension know why the last few days have been an emotional roller coaster, but as this  is being written for posterity and to educate future generations of Team Taylor, I am sitting down with the grief still fresh to try and capture as best I can one of the darker days Jenny and I've experienced in awhile. And I will do the "spoiler alert now" - based on the weekend we've got coming, the next post isn't likely to be much more uplifting than this one.  But as they say:  "It's not how many times you get knocked down - it's how many times you get back up."  That's where we are now - in good spirits and ready to resume the quest.  But to understand where we are and how we got there, I need to rewind to Tuesday, when Sammy the Bull had dinner with a good friend in Toronto.

Tuesday night I had dinner with a friend (she'll remain nameless, as I'm sure she doesn't want this public), and she told me that they'd recently had a miscarriage (I hadn't yet told her that we were expecting again).  She then proceeded to tell me that she'd been 8.5 weeks (which was exactly what Jenny was at the time), and when she went in they told her: "Your baby's only tracking 5-6 weeks, and there's no heartbeat."  Readers, I have no lie to tell - it was all I could do to conceal the immediate concern I had.  Hearing something like that right before your wife goes in for her check-up was scary, but I told myself that everything would be fine.  Jenny was sneezing her head off (apparently a potential pregnancy symptom), she still had the little hard spot on her belly, and everything appeared normal.  I didn't tell JT about my friend's story when I got home. My view was there was no point in scaring her with something like that.

Fast forward to Thursday, where Jenny had her first OB-GYN visit to confirm that all was good.  I was there.  Jenny had called and confirmed that there would be no ultrasound on this one, and given that she was simply going to "pee in a cup and leave," we figured it was best if I just watch K this go-around.  That decision will likely long haunt me, but it has also taught me the invaluable lessons that a) you NEVER know what's going to happen and should always be prepared, and b) I will NEVER leave my family alone when big news is coming there way.

The initial urine test confirmed that JT was in fact pregnant, and her doctor came in excited.  Her doctor then said, "Since you've had to wait so long, we're going to do an ultrasound just to check on everything.  When they started the ultrasound, the doctor said, "Wow, you're really early - 5-6 weeks."
Jenny immediately knew something was wrong, as she'd been counting days and had us closer to 9 weeks.  When Jenny told her that, the doctor's expression went from happy to concerned - especially when they couldn't find a heartbeat.

Jenny then had a 2nd ultrasound, and the results were much the same.  T2 was tracking at 5-6 weeks, but the yolk sack was at 9 weeks.  And given that you should DEFINITELY be hearing a heartbeat at 9 weeks, the writing was on the wall.  For whatever reason, T2 had stopped progressing, and it was likely that he or she was no longer viable.  I'm conscious that's a strange way to put it, but keeping it clinical has been one of the ways I've managed to process all this, and so I hope you'll forgive me if that sounds callous or cold.

For my part, I had been texting Jenny ever since her appointment start time.  I knew that the staff had kept her waiting, and secretly I hoped that they'd surprise her with an ultrasound, as I thought that would be an incredibly special moment between mother and child with no one but the technician around.  Instead I was outside doing sidewalk chalk with K when I received a response to my "how's it going?" text.  Knowing that JT calls when it's good news and texts when it's bad news, the response:  "About to get on 77 and will call in a few" filled me with dread.  Truth be told, it filled me with more than that - when I read it, I already knew.

Jenny called shortly thereafter, and we talked through it.  T2, who just a week ago we thought had been 8 weeks - the size of a kidney bean with webbed fingers and toes - was in all likelihood not going to make it.  That led to a discussion of the week ahead - as well as the options for handling the miscarriage.

Some of you may know the options.  Until Thursday, I did not.  Option 1 is to wait until the body realizes that the pregnancy hasn't taken and then let it pass yourself.  JT and I both had the same immediate thought - the waiting, followed by the eventual "birthing" of a child we'd never get to hold and love was too much, and it just wasn't a consideration.  The second one was much the same but with the aid of medicine to accelerate the process.  The third was a procedure called a D & C, which we've since learned a TON about.  And while we originally thought #2 was the best idea, thanks to some wonderful friends that God has placed in our lives, we have now decided on the procedure.  The date on it is TBD, but it will likely be this coming Wednesday or Thursday after our follow-up OB-GYN appt (they are going to check 1 final time for a heartbeat given that the yolk sack is still full).

No lie to tell and no way to sugar coat it - Thursday was ROUGH.  At first, I was in shock.  I was disappointed at first, but that quickly gave way to the realization that, no matter how bad I felt, Jenny had been ON HER OWN when she'd heard that news, elation and joy giving way to shock and sadness almost instantly.  In retrospect, I cannot BELIEVE I was not at that appointment, and as I said earlier it will NOT be a mistake I make again.  When she called and gave me the news, I failed her there as well, as I honestly didn't know what to say.  My brain was simultaneously trying to process what I'd heard, process what that meant (meaning starting over again), and trying to think of what I could possibly say that would comfort Jenny (I can confirm I didn't perform well at any task), and the end result was a guy basically saying, "Ok, I'll talk to you when you get home."  Jenny - when you do read this, please know how sorry I am that I couldn't think of what to say to make this easier.  I love you so much, and I'm SO SORRY you had to go through that on your own.  It will NOT happen again.  EVER.

That night was spent on the screen porch, a few beers and a few tears helping us process the news, with shock giving way to sadness, which in turn gave way to acceptance.  This in turn gave way to peace.  The past 7 months had been tough, and conceiving this go-around hadn't been as easy as we'd thought.  In fact, there had been moments that were extremely stressful, and those double lines back in April had been SUCH a relief.  Now here we were, thinking we were done with the pre-natals, the day counting, the ovulation strips, the "advice on how best to conceive," the pressure of having another one, only to find out that the respite had been short lived and we were about to be hurled back into the fray.  A miscarriage is painful on so many fronts - mentally, physically, emotionally - and Thursday night was a collision of all those simultaneously.  Telling family who'd just 2 weeks before learned about the pregnancy was obviously rough, as was telling the few friends who already knew.  But that is also where the healing began, as those friends stepped in to provide more solace and wisdom than we thought possible.

Simply put - we have an amazing group of people in our lives.  We have always been blessed beyond measure, but you don't often realize it until you realize how much you need help.  Jenny first talked to a friend who absolutely helped her make the right decision on the D & C, and the next day she and I both talked to folks who'd lived through this multiple times.  Talking to them was informative, cathartic, but most of all - it was reassuring.  They'd all been through what we'd been through or worse, and they'd all emerged on the other side with children.  And just like that, within 24 hours Team Taylor had gone from shock and sadness to peace and purpose.  Those tears were dried and we were ready to get JT's body back to normal so that we could start over.

Some things you'll never know until you've been through a miscarriage.  According to my step-mom's doctor, 35-40% of pregnancies end in miscarriage.  JT's doctor told her that women coming out of a miscarriage are actually more fertile and have less change of miscarrying again.  As this is the second one we've had in the last 7 months, that's another reason we selected the D & C, as we want to ensure everything is cleared out and ready to go.  Our friend Beka told us that women Jenny's age (36 in case anyone's curious) are actually very fertile, which is another good sign.  All these things point to the fact

that we are still both young, in good shape, clearly capable of getting pregnant, and should NOT be worried.  And on that note, I should point out that today Team Taylor feels VERY good about things.  It was a tough week - between this and some injuries, not a whole lot had gone according to script.  But as I type this now, JT's had a doctor's appointment and has a tentative diagnosis.  Sammy the Bull has just completed the Memorial Day 8 mile trail run.  And we have just had an AMAZING and revitalizing weekend with family.  Our spirits are up, our faith is strong, our love for one another deeper than ever, and above it all we realize how blessed with are with the many myriad gifts we've received through God.  We know there's a plan.  We know things happen for a reason.  And we know that, should God decide Team Taylor needs to be "party of 4," that will happen.  And if that is not the plan, then we have also realized that we are blessed beyond measure and have an absolutely angel sleeping upstairs in Kaitlyn Elaine Taylor.  For my part, I admit that I was WAAAAAAAY too stressed last time and put WAAAAAAY too much pressure on myself.  I don't think that's likely to happen this go around (for a lot of reasons), and mentally I'm in a much different place.  BRING IT ON, I say - let the day counting begin!

Moving onto happier subjects, the weekend really was fantastic.  Jenny's sister and brother-in-law made the drive up from Atlanta, and the weekend was a flurry of good friends, several new beers, lots of familiar beers, good laughs, the great trail run I mentioned earlier, and an overall refreshing of the spirit.  I give the National Whitewater Center a lot of credit here, as that place holds a very special significance for me.  It was this race last year that "returned me to the ring" in terms of road races and distance running, and this year's race served to further a newfound interest in trail/longer distance running while at the same time giving me what I needed more than anything - a chance to think and get back on track with a victory amidst a sea of knockdowns.  Monday was an extra special treat, as a planned outing at the Sports Club pool ended with us at Jenny's friend Renee's for an impromptu pool party.  K - newly decked out with her noodle and puddle jumper - LOVED THEIR POOL.  Oh, and did I mention that it was heated?  Yeah - considering that the community pools are like ice right now, that was pretty much the greatest thing ever.

No, she's not a viking.  Yes, those are Uncle
Matt's arms perfectly placed behind her.

And last but not least - THE MUNCHKIN.  Amidst all of this, she's continued to be our perfect little angel.  Even when teething and pitching a fit (and to be clear - on Saturday we saw a meltdown unlike any we'd EVER experienced - this was Exorcist quality), she's still cute as a button.  And if there is a silver lining in all that we went through last week and are going through this week, it's the reminder of just how incredible a miracle Kaitlyn is, and I found myself looking at her with fresh eyes this past weekend.  Obviously I love that kid more than I EVER thought possible, but it's moments like what JT and I experienced this weekend that remind us of not only how precious a gift being a parent is, but more importantly how sacred this toddler period is.  Truly, I found myself in the pool with her yesterday studying every inch of her face, trying to soak it all in and commit it to memory.

I mean seriously - does it get much cuter?

On the development front, the puddle jumper that Jenny bought her (check those pics)  has been GREAT and has really helped all of us in terms of K in the water.  For starters, she's gaining more confidence about kicking and balancing herself.  True, it took a minute to get used to the apparatus.   10 minutes in, however, and she was GOOD TO GO.  Also, K's starting to memorize books now.  I know that we'd previously mentioned the baby board book, but it's now spreading to other books in the library.  She's learning them faster and faster (starting to memorize library books after only a few days now), and consequently I'm less upset when she says "No, dada" as I start trying to read things.  I realize now that she wants to learn the pictures and "symbols" on the page, and with enough time and repetition she's capable of rattling through most of the book herself.

Ok, time for me to close this post.  Full disclosure - I wrote this across 2 sessions, and so it's likely disjointed in terms of coherence and thought.  However, as we sit here on the eve of the confirmation appointment before a planned 10:30 AM Thursday D & C, I wanted the events of the past week recounted for posterity while the emotions are still fresh.  Some moments of this week will likely stay with me a long time, not the least of which was Kim's arrival (she's 5 months pregnant) and asking Kaitlyn:  "What's in Aunt Kim's tummy?"  K said, "A baby," and then followed with, "A baby in mommy's tummy, too."  I knew that would happen at some point, and so I was glad it actually happened within 15 minutes of their arrival.  And I will say that, after that, I do feel as though something of "the spell was broken," as the elephant in the room had been recognized, and we could then start to pick up the pieces together as a family.  And also, seeing Kim and Matt so happy and knowing that their baby was continuing to grow strong and healthy did lift our spirits, as the promise of a cousin for K and a nephew for us is certainly a very exciting prospect.

Missy Franklin - BEWARE!!!

Lastly, let me thank all of our friends for their texts, phone calls, and kind words.  I know that none of you will ever read these words, but all the same I want to thank you for the advice, support, and love you've poured out.  No man (or woman for that matter) is an island, and we would be lost adrift in the sea of life without all of you amazing people.

Ok, time to call it a night.  The next post will likely be one of the toughest I've ever written, as I'm going to attempt to catalogue our experience across what will likely be 2 terrible medical appointments.  However, I never started this blog with the goal of capturing anything but the truth, and sometimes the truth just plain hurts.  But hey - no rain, no rainbows.  Speak soon.

Love,

Sam and Jenny

The bomb drops - Team Taylor 3.2 and rising!!!

Age of Lady Kaitlyn:  2 years and 2 months

Age of T2 (now 2.2):  7 weeks and 1 day

Family,

And a good evening to you from the Queen City, where I am happy to inform you that the parents and siblings are now IN THE KNOW!!!!!  And while the "trust tree" is a really small nest at the moment, that's likely to change soon.  But I get ahead of myself - let's get amongst it, shall we?

First off, let's start with the Munchkin, who's development on both the physical and language fronts has been nothing shy of meteoric.  On the speaking front, it is AMAZING how much she's now saying AND how clearly she's pronouncing everything.  Her sentences are daily becoming more complex, and today she even trotted out some prepositions (she put Peppa on a balloon and said "Peppa sitting on top of it" - I'm telling you...GENIUS).  One of my favorite sentences to date is "Dada working from home a day," and her newest one is just about as cute:  "Mommy what are you doing in there?"  The other night she put this one on repeat and must have said it 47 times.  It was TOO FUNNY.

You can never train too much to be an expert
at the sleeping game.  Just sayin'...

This is where I must stop and give SO MUCH CREDIT to Wife Muffin.  I thought I knew how amazing a job she was doing, but lately the results of her patience, love, and instruction have been so evident that my mind has just been BLOWN.  Every day I'm coming home to find Kaitlyn doing something new and lots of things better.  She's practically undressing herself now - she can take off both socks and shoes, as well as her diaper.  She's almost got her pants figured out, and I'm sure the shirt will soon follow.  And then at night, she can almost dress herself in her pajamas - socks, pants, and the shirt (as long as she doesn't confuse the head-hole for the arm-hole, of course).  Add in the fact that she's made HUGE strides at brushing her teeth (she's using real fluoride "Minnie" toothpaste now) and is even starting to spit correctly (she loves it), and you have a well-oiled nighttime ritual.  K's diction is improving daily, and her vocabulary just feels off the charts at this point.  I'm glad I'm no longer tracking the words!

The intensity is palpable.

On the physical side, this has been a SUPER thrill to watch, as K is running full tilt now and seems well and truly back to normal.  Her left foot still turns slightly outward, and I think she dips one shoulder slightly, but daily I'm seeing that dissipate, and I think it's only a matter of time before she is 100%.  If anything, I think she's faster than before, AND I think she's in the midst of another growth spurt (at least if balance and appetite are any indicator).  And should you ask me:  "How strong is she physically?", I'll say "I'm glad you asked" and give you this little nugget.  On Saturday, 2 May, K actually walked ALL THE WAY HOME FROM HIGHLAND CREEK ELEMENTARY (under parental supervision, of course).  Now granted, she was exhausted and in full meltdown by the time she hit the hill at Fairvista (we're talking screaming and crying yet REFUSING to let daddy put her in the crib or carry her), but let's take a moment to reflect on the fact that our 2 year old walked 1.5 MILES!!! Side note - we'd gone to the Highland Creek Community fair but decided to walk home since it wasn't very exciting.  We actually got K to go in the first place by telling her it was "Potato City" from "Peppa Pig."  I mean, at least she got to try shaved ice for the first time...

And this is the part where I'll stop and say that, unless Wife Muffin, I really need to work on my instruction and patience.  Jenny is doing SUCH a great job of teaching her and clearly has the patience
of an oak.  I, on the other hand, need to be smarter about how I handle K's tantrums.  I know that part of it is my finding my way in handling her tantrums (she gets easily frustrated and won't/can't always explain what's wrong - although I will say that she's been really good lately about explaining what she needs or what's bothering her...case in point was last Saturday when she said "Mulch in dipe dipe"), and part of it is the father in me trying to figure out what it means to be consistent when saying no or disciplining her.  I think I'm just a bit too eager to rush in and either fix something or instruct her at something (walking, holding a spoon, etc), when what I need to be is more alert and attune to what Jenny's teaching her so that I can reinforce it.  Case in point on that would be K using a spoon.  She's getting much better at leveling her spoon out - clearly something Jenny's worked on with her.  Had I been paying better attention to this on weekends and in the evenings, I would have realized it and would have let K work through eating soup with a spoon vs. trying to help her (which sent her into a tizzy).  Bottom line - my wife is awesome and is leading by example.  I just need to open my eyes and close my mouth. :-)

In other development areas, K's starting to know her left from her right.  She also is now aware of the difference between the quantities 1 and 2.  Credit to Grandpa on this one, as yesterday (10 May) I watched him ask her to "give me 2 ice cream cones," after which time she handed him the 2 vanilla cones from her toy stock.  Oh, and he's also been a master at improving her hand-eye coordination.  Yesterday he was throwing balloons over to her, and she was catching them practically every time!  This then kicked off  desire to walk with a balloon between her legs a lot - not sure about that one, but details...

We've also started working a bit more on safety, and K now knows (even if she's not happy about it) that she has to hold Mommy and Daddy's hand when she crosses the street.  She's free to run on the sidewalks, but obviously in parking lots and crossings we take her by the hand.  At first she was quite resistant, but now she seems much better about it.  Fingers crossed that trend continues.

She also seems to be continuing with her spatial reasoning and puzzle solving.  JT told me that she was able to put some puzzles together on her own last week, and within the last 3-4 days I've noticed her putting the pieces of the "Jigsaw Pets" book together better (and quicker) than ever.  Sometimes she'll still say "Help, dada - help!", but most of the time she can do it on her own.  If anything, I'm getting a hard lesson in reality as of late, as K's been wanting to sit in the floor to read at bedtime vs. wanting to sit in dada's lap (although the last 2 nights have been blessed exceptions - well, 2 of the last 3, as tonight she blamed me for falling off her step stool and ONLY wanted Mommy for reading).  Furthermore, when I start reading from the chair, she'll often say, "No dada," meaning I am to shut up and sit there silently while she turns the pages if I want to remain in the room.  And while it was a little thing (and I was quite proud watching her recite pages of the books from memory - we actually have a cute duet that we do now to the "Big Book of Beautiful Babies"), it was yet another reminder that children seek and gain independence quickly, and with each little victory you realize you're needed just that much less.

"Spit!"  

Oh, and aside from hide and seek, the favorite game right now is without a doubt "the sleeping game."  How do you play the sleeping game, you ask?  Well, it's quite simple.  You lay on the couch while K says "more sleeping mama...more sleeping dada," and then you pretend to snore.  K then goes over to Baby Bear, pretends to sleep (her snore is really cute), and then she comes and touches you to wake you up.  You jump up like you are startled, and then she says "more sleeping dada, more sleeping mama" - rinse/repeat.  I mean, WHO DOESN'T LOVE A GAME WHERE YOU GET TOPRETEND SLEEP?  LOVE THIS KID!!!!!

The last thing to note is that K has really started saying "Thank you, mama" or "thank you, dada" anytime we do something for her or give her something.  I gotta say - it's pretty darn cute.  LOVE THAT KID!!!!  In fact, here's a good spot to know that Jenny and I really think K is going to be an INCREDIBLE big sister.  She's so sweet - you can tell that she's got a gentleness to her that will translate to a caring and nurturing young lady and adult.  Also, as she's calm and pensive, I definitely think she'll understand quickly the new dynamic in the house.  And that is, my friends, a great lead-in to the title of this blog - how we dropped the bomb on folks!

K at the start of the 1.5 mile sojourn - Kenyans beware.

JT concocted a great plan for the surprise.  For starters, she ordered a t-shirt that said "I'm going to be a big sister" and put it on K the day she visited her folks (May 6).  When K walked into the kitchen, Jenny said, "Kaitlyn has something to show you."  Bob and Jan looked down and, at first, just appropriately doted on the child.  But then, when they started reading the shirt, you apparently could have heard a pin drop (Jenny got it on the GoPro).  I then called mom and, while talking said, "I have to send you this photo of K - too cute!"  And again, when mom saw it she said, "Oh, that's so cute.  I'm going to be a big sis...Sammy Taylor!  WHAT!!!  A big sister!"  I tried for this same trick with my dad - and while it didn't have the same effect (he was driving), it was still cute.  JT told Kimmy and Matt that night as well - talk about a big day!  I will say that telling folks made it feel quite real.  Oh, and in case you're curious - Jenny consulted the Chinese Gender Chart this week, and apparently the Middle Kingdom thinks we're going to have a boy.  And while I did chuckle about it, the chart was correct on Kaitlyn, correct with Kim's baby, and I think at least 1 more person we tried.  Now granted, they've got a 50/50 shot.  But still - pretty crazy!

The quote of the week:  "More TT touching
beer!"  Let's not tell Social Services about
this one, shall we?"

We actually told K this weekend, and now the cute little thing is running around saying "Mommy has a baby in her tummy!"  And while her diction might not be perfect yet, anyone who knows us will likely figure that one out should she rattle it off in public.  But hey, is there really a cuter way to announce it?  NEGATIVE, GHOST RIDER!  And in case you're scoring - T2 was the size of a lentil bean at week 6 and is now the size of a blueberry at week 7.  Apparently the cerebral cortex is splitting into 2 halves, veins and arteries are forming under "parchment thin skin," and if T2's a girl, then all 6 million eggs are already present and accounted for.  There are ear buds and nose buds forming, as well as eye lids. Now seriously - if anyone hears that and does NOT believe kids are a miracle from God, then I don't know what to tell you.  Just absolutely incredible.

This weekend was absolutely fantastic, especially since it was MOTHER'S DAY!!!!!  K loved the whole day, because a) she got a lollipop from church (she's a HUGE fan of church now.  As I told others - who knew the conversion to Christianity only required watermelon flavored dum-dums?), b) got a taste of her mother's red velvet cupcake, and c) FINALLY got to use the trampoline!!!!

So a little backstory on this - Bob, Jan, Kim, and Matt had all pitched in to buy K a trampoline for her

birthday.  We had planned to unveil it on her actual birthday...but that was before she ended up in a cast.  Consequently, we had to wait until after a) she was healed and b) we were mentally prepared to have our daughter bouncing like a jack russell terrier 6 suspended 6 inches of the ground.  The good news?  K LOVES THE TRAMPOLINE.  Seriously - she is WEARING THIS THING OUT RIGHT NOW.  And the even better part - between that and the picnic table we have on the screen porch, K is DESPERATE to spend time on the screened porch, either a) turning Playdoh into pancakes, b) bouncing on the trampoline, or c) playing the sleeping game on the wicker furniture.  Considering that I spent my afternoons drinking NoDa Jam Session and playing the sleeping game under the fan, I think those acquisitions were the best purchases EVER.  :-)

Love my girls!!!!  That's my world right there!

As for Mother's Day, it was quiet but wonderful.  Jenny's folks came over, and we ate like champions (as we had all weekend).  We had some good bonding time with the Munchkin, and all was right with the world.  I alluded to it earlier in this post, but I would be sorely remiss if I didn't take this opportunity to say once again HOW INCREDIBLE AND AMAZING JENNY IS AS A MOTHER.  She is the centerpiece of this Family, and the heart and soul of Team Taylor.   She is the Director of Operations, the center of K's universe (and mine), and is everything any husband or father could ever dream of for their spouse/child's mother.  I cannot say enough how blessed I am to be part of this family and to wake up beside her every day.  I LOVE YOU, WIFE MUFFIN!!!!!  BEST.  WIFE.  AND.  MOMMY.  EVER!!!!!!   KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKP!!!!!!

Okay, that's all the news that's fit to print for this edition.  Chat with you in about a week and a half, once I'm back from the (finally not so frigid) North!

Love,

Sam and Jenny    

Few things in life are more life changing than faint double lines...

Age of Lady Kaitlyn:  2 years, 1 month, 17 days

Age of Baby T2: 5.5 weeks

Family,

And a good evening to you from the Queen City, where the Bull and Striker have MUCH to report.

Yes, you read that correctly, sports fans - TEAM TAYLOR IS EXPECTING!!!!!  It's early days and I'm sure you have a million questions (well, you would have if you could actually access this post from the internet), and I don't want to get ahead of myself.  Let's just say that "Raise Kids With the Taylors" is about to add a new cast member for the 3rd season - LOOK OUT SWEEPS, BABY!!!

So a bit of back story here - Jenny and I have been trying since November, and we are pretty sure we had a "close call" in there (we think we got pregnant on the first try but lost it - I remember posting about it).  Well, I am happy to report that, after what can only be described as a "17 day shag fest," Team Taylor had the week of April 13th to just sit and wait, breathless with anticipation but confident that we'd done everything we could (quite literally) to conceive.  On Saturday (the day I was flying out to London), Jenny took a pregnancy test.  She would have been due to get her period that day, and so we felt there was a chance we'd know something.  Well, sure enough - FAINT DOUBLE LINES!!!  We were obviously a) thrilled, b) hopeful, and c) terrified something would go wrong (likely in that order), and we definitely didn't want to celebrate this early in the game.  After all T2 was only 4 weeks at that point (the size of a poppy seed in case you're scoring), and you know how these things go.

Throughout the week JT would give me picture updates of the tests taken, and on Tuesday I got the "So I think I really might be pregnant" email (reminds me I need to save that) - WHA-WHAT!!!!!  She tested on Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday, and I arrived home on Friday VERY excited and hopeful.  Saturday she then took another test, and there was no doubt about it - those lines weren't faint.  Those lines were DARK.  BOO-YOW, BABY!!!!!  Team Taylor, Party of 4 - comin' at ya!

We're now 5.5 weeks into this, and truly no one (except Jill from the mommy's group) knows anything.  We were over at the Wetzel's on Sunday, but luckily as no one was drinking, we were able to dodge a bullet there.  My mom actually fished for information yesterday, but to date we've been able to deflect any questions.  The good news is that, come Mother's Day, the secret will be out with our parents, and soon afterwards it will be out with Kim.  Soon after that, we can go "Facebook" official. :-)

And so the blog now takes an interesting turn, as we're recording the stories and lives of both our children (first time I've ever typed that).  For Jenny and I, there's no question that this is a dream come true.  We have loved EVERY SINGLE SECOND of Kaitlyn's life, and the opportunity to experience it all over again and give Kaitlyn family that she'll carry with her long after we're gone is a blessing from God that is indescribable.  When we set out on this journey and broke our lives into phases, the "35 to 40" window had us ideally having 2 kids, buying a house, and starting to pay down on our debts.  We're 2.2 out of 3 so far, and I cannot put into words how blessed I feel right now.  I must simply record that I feel this blessing is a gift from God, as has been this entire year - finding our church, making progress on some of our life goals, and now this.  Truly I can say my cup runneth over.

The good news is that Jenny is feeling great (no different in fact), and we're really hopeful that all will go smoothly.  While we aren't screaming in celebration yet, we are conceding comments like "We're going to have a baby!" to one another within the quiet confines of the house, and the excitement (and relief) that we have this miracle growing inside her is just incredible.  This go-around was tough on us emotionally, and I must confess I am breathing a heavy sigh of relief with each passing day.


T2 is now 5.5 weeks old - the size of a sesame seed.  There's obviously not a lot to report at this point, but I can tell you that JT is officially off coffee (straight decaf), is now microwaving cold cuts, and has started her pre-natal vitamins.  And let me tell you - she's never looked happier or more beautiful.

Now the above clearly made the past week exciting, but let's not forget the main star of this show who kicked off the entire party, as it was a GREAT week for her.  SO MUCH to record in the life of the Munchkin, so let's get back amongst it, shall we?

For Kaitlyn, this past week saw a TON of firsts.  For starters, K started real toothpaste this week (15 April to be exact).  She is now using "Minnie toothpaste" during the day (before nap) and then fluoride free "Elmo toothpaste" at night.  Technically she's not supposed to swallow the real toothpaste, but luckily it's a light dose of "training fluoride," which means it's not harmful.  It's actually REALLY cute to watch, as she sucks on it like it's the "other stuff," and you find yourself forcing her to brush more so that she can actually get some of it on her teeth.  JT's bought her stools to help her get to the sink and spit, but spitting is very much a learned art (who knew?), and it will take some time.  But she's a trooper and tries every day, so I'm confident we'll lick it soon.

On the 16th, K started another rite of passage - she became a Flintstone kid (10 million strong and growing!).  K is supposed to get a half vitamin every day until she's 4, and let me tell you - SHE LOVES THESE THINGS.  At every meal she asks for her vitamin - I think she'd eat 20 a day if we'd let her.  TOO CUTE!

On the 17th, we started another ritual - prayer before mealtime.  Now I don't have this on video yet, but I can confirm that it is absolutely a MUST HAVE.  Family, simply put - it is the sweetest thing EVER. K folds her hands just like me, bows her head (I've watched JT do it with her as well, and so I know she bows her head and keeps her eyes closed the whole time), and then recites "God is great" (as best she can, of course).  And while she may not get all the words right, she is GREAT about saying "Amen!"  I mean, it's like being at a Pentecostal service around our table.  And the cutest part?  She wants to do it over and over.  Eventually I had to make her take bites of food before I'd reward her with another prayer - how cute is that?

Moving onto the week I was away, I am thrilled to report that K is practically 100% in the running department!  She'd fallen at the Chik-fil-A playground earlier in the week and had injured her foot.  Consequently, her progress on returning to normalcy in the walking department was a bit start and stop, and by the time I left she was barely putting any weight on it (JT told me about this Sunday).  On Monday the 20th, however, K was already a ROCKET once again, running all over the house.  I actually got to see it first hand because FINALLY after more than a year of not having FaceTime, it has returned to my operating system!  Seriously - I cannot tell you how big a difference it made that week being able to see my girls.  It really did change the entire experience (vs. just texting them).  She's now running full steam and getting back to being able to jump.  It's not quite there yet (and to be fair wasn't exactly textbook pre-break), but there's no question she's back to normal and getting stronger every day.  SO GOOD to see, and JT and I are definitely breathing easier.

The week I was away also saw us receive GREAT news at the ENT - both tubes are now out, and K has fully functioning Eustachian tubes!!!  We also got the doctor's bills from the break, and I'm happy to report that we won't have to mortgage the house to cover it. It actually wasn't bad at all - about $800 all in for the cast, doctor time, x-rays, and everything else.  I mean, between these updates and JT learning she was pregnant, tell me last week wasn't incredible!  I just can't believe I was overseas for all of it!

In other news, K continues to develop on so many fronts.  We've started reminding her that she needs to sit with her legs forward or crossed ("criss-cross applesauce"), as apparently sitting back on your knees is detrimental to bone and joint development (who knew - certainly not this guy, so thank GOODNESS for my wife).  I'm happy to report that K's already sitting better and almost always puts both legs forward without prompting.  I knew everyone thinks their kid is a genius, and so I won't say that here (again).  However, that child is a quick learner.  THAT cannot be denied.

She's also doing a better job undressing herself.  She can now take her socks and shoes off, and usually with help she can get the pants off.  Obviously the shirt will require a bit more time, but she's definitely making strides.  She's also getting better at putting her pajamas on.  The shirt typically can't be done unassisted, but the pants and socks are getting there.

She's also starting to learn the alphabet now, and she's counting all the time.  Jenny told me that, during K's most recent stint at Childwatch at NOMAD, Kaitlyn did a lot of counting for Brenda and Kathy.  It should be noted that K is a celebrity now everywhere she goes.  I saw her be recognized by the two instructors at the library, and everybody at NOMAD knows her and asks about her.  She apparently plays with Maria the janitor and learns about the mop, plays with Brenda and Kathy, and there are about 700 other people who recognize her, look forward to her routines, and have been cheering for her throughout all these injuries.  We are blessed.

Oh, and K FINALLY likes going to Church now.  The secret?  LOLLIPOPS.  That's right, sports fans - I never would have thought the key to Christianity would be a "dum dum," but low and behold - K now practically RUNS into that daycare room.  Too funny!

The last thing to note (aside from the fact that this child is now teething again - canines and 2 year molars are breaking through, and K has definitely had some irritable moments of late...but truth be told has been an angel and a trooper) started on the 27th.  K is now doing headbutts and eskimo kisses.  It's really, really, REALLY cute - especially the kisses of course.  But hey - the headbutts aren't so bad either.

In closing, I managed to spend some time this week committing the 12 month goals for Kaitlyn (really 10 months at this point) to paper.  In a nutshell, things we hope to cross off this year (this is the prognostication so you can rate me later):

1.  Crossing legs or sitting straight vs. on her knees

2.  Stop thumb-sucking - I'll settle for just doing it less or only at night

3.  Transition to a big girl bed

4.  Completely eliminating the limp

5.  Jumping again

6.  Being able to dress herself

7.  Being able to undress herself

8.  potty trained

9.  Spitting toothpaste

10.  Nightly prayer

11.  Transition to a new room

I know we've made progress on some of these items, and I'm confident we'll knock all of them off before K's 3 year.  And no matter what - it's going to be a fun ride...and QUITE the adventure come December. :-)

Okay, that's all the news that's fit to print.  I am the luckiest man alive!  Chat soon!

Love,

Sam and Jenny

Unbreakable - The Munch Rises Again...

Age of Lady Kaitlyn:  2 years, 1 month, and 2 days

Family,

And a good Monday evening to you from the Queen City, where the Bull is trying to get a jump on the

blog ahead of his impending flight over the Pond.  As per standard, all kinds of craziness to report, so let's get amongst it, shall we?

First off, the biggest news to relate - KAITLYN IS WALKING ON HER OWN AGAIN!!!!  That's right, sports fans, after a few hiccups (right on queue as predicted by the doctor), Kaitlyn started walking again in earnest 8 days after her cast came off.  And let's be clear - the progress has been positively meteoric.  The first 2 days were rather timid, and she was actually on her toes until Saturday. During the week, she would stand on her heel (but much preferred to be on her toe unless she was on the carpet upstairs) but wouldn't walk on it.  However, on Saturday I simply said, "Can you put your heel down?" while we were in the bonus room, and WOW - the magic started.

First, K dropped her heel.  Then, after steadying herself for a moment, she suddenly lurched away from the couch.  The first few steps were a bit all over the place, but after that she was off like a rocket - AMAZING!  K went from couch to couch, throwing in some of her favorite phrases, such as "Turning around" and "TT walking on her own again" while she walked.  It was SO GREAT to see!  Throughout the day she got faster and faster, and by yesterday (Sunday) she was actually jumping!  She's back to climbing almost everywhere, has NO FEAR whatsoever at the playground, is climbing up and sliding down all the slides, and basically running at this point.  Her stride on Saturday and Sunday was a bit choppy, and

her foot was very turned out on Saturday (less so on Sunday but still noticeable).  Jenny said that today (4/13), she was running around everywhere and having a blast.  She also said that her stride and foot position were almost back to normal.  Considering that the doctor told us should could limp for a month, we're thinking this is GREAT news.  In days previous, big bursts of activity like this have led to her being a bit sore and not wanting to put her foot down the following day, so we'll see if that holds true tomorrow.  Based on what I saw this weekend and what Jenny's told me, I'm hopeful we're over that hump and truly on the mend.  Watch this space!

In terms of other development, I witnessed (what I deemed to be) a big first on April 7th (last Tuesday) - K successfully turned off the lamp in her room for the first time!  Now she's been able to reach it for awhile and clearly understands the concept of turning off the light.  However, given the torque required to turn it off, I'd always helped up up until this point.  Truth be told, I was ready to help her this time when - CLICK! - she pushed it all the way over and plunged us into near darkness.  I was so proud I could have tackled her, and it was another good lesson for me to not always try to do everything for her on the assumption that she's not yet capable.  She's quite the clever and resilient child, and I definitely need to find ways to keep pushing and developing her.

K is also getting more comfortable sitting on the "big girl potty," and it's clear she does understand what's being asked of her.  In fact, she's actually straining a bit when she sits on the potty, clearly trying to either pee or poop.  And while I don't want to encourage straining, I must confess it's pretty darn cute (and worthy of video if I can remember to trot the Go Pro out. :-)).  And speaking of poopy, we had a classic moment last Monday when, at a play date, K pooped in her diaper and yelled out "Steamer!"  She did this again for me one night last week, and I must confess - I could NOT stop laughing.  Too cute!  And if I may, "steamer" was DEFINITELY an apt description of what she deposited on both occasions. :-)

On the word front, I've obviously fallen off pace trying to keep up with her vocabulary development.  However, I've managed to capture a few nuggets:

1.  "Big Dump!" - And NO, this does not relate to toilet humor. :-)  This is actually what we've always said to Kaitlyn in the bath before we pour water on her head to wash her hair.  In the beginning she hated it, but now she's actually embraced it and even wants to help.  In fact, several times this week she said "Big Dump!" and then poured a cup full of water on her head.  And while it's really cute, she always forgets to close her eyes and mouth, with the result being a coughing fit and K rubbing her eyes while saying "eyeball!"

2.  "Big Splash" - this came from NOMAD, where Team Taylor went for a family swim last week.  As an update, K is LOVING the pool and is really getting comfortable in the water.  She's doggy paddling a lot (with a noodle tied around her), is splashing and moving her arms, and she is even enjoying putting her head into the water and getting water in her ears.  She loves blowing bubbles in the water - she just always ends up drinking it (notice a theme here?).  But hey - we're making progress!  Oh, and side note from the pool:  there was a little girl playing with her, and while the gal was right there, K looked at my bare chest and said "Nipple!" followed by "Chest hair!" Absolutely priceless.

3.  Steam (rising from coffee)

4.  Pancake

5.  Syrup

6.  Story time - K said this to me tonight in the bath.  She had "story time" at Chik-fil-a today, and Jenny sent me the CUTEST photo of K sitting with other kids in a circle during story time.  This was a big moment, as it marked the first time that K's ever say with kids without Jenny right there beside her.
Kudos to wife muffin - all of this socialization is paying off!  Best wife ever!

7.  "Nose sucker!"  Now seriously, I know that we are lucky parents and we have an angel baby.  I know that we are blessed because she LOVES medication and never fights us when we ask her to take it (this has been VERY helpful this week and weekend because she's fighting a cold and has been running a fever - likely from teething).  But we achieved a new level of "perfect childness" this past week when K actually BEGGED for the snot sucker.  Seriously, she would actually reach for it and press it up against her nose!  And after you'd basically rattled her brain sucking out mucus, she'd ask for more and fight you if you quit doing it!  I mean, you gotta love this kid, right?  Between that and her actually REQUESTING the medicine (she says, "Red one white one," meaning the Benadryll and then the Advil), how could be get any luckier?

8.  "Daddy working from home today" - she rocked in and said that to me before trying to click a few icons with my mouse last Wednesday.  Again - TOO CUTE!

"TT tickling baby 'Teth feet!"

As for the rest of the week, it was actually quite the blur.  The toughest moment was on Wednesday, when I drove up to Dublin, VA for a funeral.  It was Alice's father, and as you can expect it was obviously a very emotional day.  I won't go into the details of it, as that's obviously another story for another time (and not my tale to tell), but what I will say is that, again as expected, I found myself thinking so much on my own mortality and how quickly life passes by.  Now obviously I'm a (relatively) young man still (37 as I type this), and I expect to have many, many years of adventures left (hopefully more to come than I've had to date!).  But as I looked at Bud in that coffin, all I could think about was making every single second count and maximizing my time with Jenny, Kaitlyn, and the rest of my family.  A funeral is a flood of emotions, and I think every single one of them passed through me during that service and on the drive home.  It was a reminder of how quickly K will be a teenager and then out of the house, at which time I'll be the one scrambling after her for a bit of attention (to quote the movie "Hook").  It was also a reminder that some day in the (hopefully distant) future I'll be in different roles as that scene plays out, and ultimately my race will be run.  When the bell tolls for each of those moments, it is one of my sincerest hopes that I will be able to say I made every second count.

It is always said that God works in mysterious ways, and there are messages and signs all around you if you're really looking.  With that lens on things, I don't think it's a stretch to say that God used Bud's funeral to help me rebalance my life, as over the past couple of weeks I'd had trouble balancing all of the priorities and moving parts, not the least of which was trying to be a good father and husband while trying to knock off everything on the perpetually expanding (and self-imposed it should be noted) to-do list.  Particularly with regards to K, I've found it tougher and tougher to give her my full attention lately given that she's been staying up later.  While I've certainly continued to give her dedicated, focused time, on more than one occasion I've found myself distracted or multi-tasking.  Largely this has been a product of her 7:45 bedtime (vs. 7 previously), but all the same, I know that I need to really switch on and re-shuffle/"de-scope" some of the items on my list.  One of these days I'll learn that not all of my goals and milestones aren't feasible in the timelines I've delineated.  Until that fateful day comes, however, I'll just keep thanking God for giving me reminders on rebalancing and giving me a wife who tolerates all my idiosyncrasies.

Wrapping the week, some of the other fun moments (not the least of which for JT and K was a visit to

Rompy good and secured for the BJ's run.

the Cheesecake Factory last Thursday):

1.  Hide and Seek - so K is starting to LOVE hide and seek now.  In fact, whenever she sees dada she says "Dada, more hide and seek!"  This involves me hiding behind a door or in another room counting loudly to 10, with K pre-empting each number before I say it (she's getting really good, although she often forgets "six" in the count).  The funny part is that, when I enter the room, the one thing K has NOT done is moved - ANYWHERE.  It's hilarious, as she is ALWAYS in plain view in the room.  I mean, we're talking about not even making the ATTEMPT to cover herself.  Consequently, I say, "Ready or not, here I come!" and then start turning over everything in the room until I magically "find her" sitting right on the couch.  One time she did let Jenny and I hide, and when she came to look for us, it was PRICELESS.  After she counted to 10, she said, "Readeeee not he I come!" and then barreled into the room.  Now JT and I weren't well hidden - she could see us.  However, instead of going straight for us, she started picking up random objects like the little map of Mickey Park and saying "Are you under the minnie map?  Nooooooo...." before moving onto the next item and saying, "Are you under the basketball?  Noooooooo."  It was hilarious!  She was completely imitating me, all the way down to the length of time I would say "No" after turning over each object.  Too cute.

Meeting "Mel Mel Pup Pup."

2.  "All through the town" - So K is definitely starting to sing more.  In fact, she was at the library today (4/16 at time of writing) and apparently did a lot of singing and dancing.  She can sing "Open Shut," "Twinkle, Twinkle," Happy Birthday, and most recently - "The Wheels on the Bus."  We had a book of it, and she would single and motion each page appropriately before saying at the end "All through the town."  It was absolutely adorable.

3.  Reading at bedtime - so this has now evolved.  K now enjoys sitting on the floor (vs. in our laps) and reading the books by herself.  Sometimes she'll let me read them to her, but more often than not she wants to turn every single page at her own pace.  She's also recognizing more of the titles, as last week she actually said, "Good night, Boston" before picking it up and flipping through it.  Genius, I tell you!

Okay, that's all the news that's fit to print in this edition.  The Bull is off to London in 48 hours, so the next post will likely be on or around April 27.  Stay tuned!

Love,

Sam and Jenny